..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
