I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
