I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
