Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
