Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
