Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
