So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
