matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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