yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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