what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We're too hungover to prance.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
