And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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