Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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