I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
