You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
