Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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