She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
