Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
