You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
