pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Less talking, more tequila
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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