A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
