I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
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he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dear god my vagina.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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