Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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