you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
