Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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