Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
