In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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