Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
