Are we in a gay sports bar?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize