Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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