I just pynch a tree in the face
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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