she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Drunk is not a location!
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