im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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