i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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