Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS: I just woke up from my shower
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize