i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
