But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
