Little spoons don't ask big questions
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
