you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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