I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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