Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Enjoy the penises
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
