just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
