That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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