Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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