be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
