its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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