Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
