it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
