Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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