Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize