I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
