I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
