We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
