i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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