Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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