My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
