Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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