Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
